FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
