Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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