I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Come on in and take your pants off
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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