The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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