So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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