Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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