She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
