So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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