Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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