Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
