So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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