i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
