If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
