Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
