Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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