My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Randomize
