I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
