Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
did i walk over a car last night?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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