I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
