At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
