it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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