And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you win again, gameday.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
