I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
