I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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