I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
