Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
