you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
