im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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