Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
