I want to have your abortion
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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