i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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