Got a toothbrush?
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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