My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
