he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize