WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize