his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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