Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
should my penis look like a turkey
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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