WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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