cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
