some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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