Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
