Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You made out with two different species that night
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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