I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
is it fun? or sober?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
