my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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