yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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