I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Come see our sink grown plant.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I just found puke in my bra..
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
