When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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