Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
