Swine flu. Run for my life!
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
