Are we in a gay sports bar?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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